Cruel Eyesight Test

Now, this is a very cruel eyesight test. The way I see it: the less clothes a woman has on herself, the smaller she is as a person in the eyes of this photographer.
Is he a bastard or what?

Neck Excercise for Geeks

Update: The picture was removed from reasons unknown to me, but can be seen on http://www.bigfun.be/files/jpg/NeckExercise%20[800x600].jpg or
http://multiply.com/mu/sara08/image/1/photos/upload/1200x1200/SSlDngoKCnAAAH@Uzao1/neck-exercise.jpg?et=4NTyF%2Bpd3OVsbcMJeus99A&nmid=0 or
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxKWFD9UB7lJU5DMD-Y54ZeNFyDyDbOxxAORbu7RBL8NkMWSQpFVB1otq1woKCAQzJK5gU8EkAZXfxWtC4mpRyxSxHNWJvHVcsDcmOhn03RgjVy_5es093Zuj6149akwFH37cpXQUetspk/s1600/neck+exercise.jpg

Did you get this one? It says that reading this is good for your neck, but I only read first two lines because my neck started to hurt after that. So you read it and try to figure it out, I don't give a damn...

Paul, My Broker

A man, who barely made it through the market crash, calls his stock broker the next day and asks:
- "May I speak to Paul, my broker, please?"

The operator replies:
- "I'm sorry. Paul is deceased. Can anyone else help you?"

The man says no and hungs up. Ten minutes later he calls again and asks for Paul, his broker. The operator says:
- "You just called a few minutes ago, didn't you? Paul died. I'm not making this up."

The man hungs up again. Fifteen minutes later he calls a third time and asks for Paul. The operator is pissed by this time:
- "I've already told you twice, Paul is DEAD. He is not here! Why do you keep asking for him when I say he's dead?"

The man replies:
- "I just like hearing it..."

Nghe, nghe, you get this one? So probably this guy broker is dead and this other guy isn't, so he finds it very funny or something. And the dead guy doesn't think it's funny. Or maybe it's funny how this broker's colleague doesn't get anything...

Health Insurance in USA

A wealthy hospital benefactor is being shown around the hospital.
During her tour she passes a room where a male patient is masturbating furiously.
- "Oh my GOD!" screams the woman. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor leading the tour calmly explaines:
- "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his testicles rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least five times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his testicles could easily rupture."

- "Oh, well in that case, I guess it's okay," says the woman.

As they pass the next room, they see a male patient laying in bed while a nurse performes oral sex on him. Again, the woman screams:
- "Oh my GOD! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly:
- "Same illness, better insurance."

Now, I am not from USA and I don't understand their health insurance system, but can this really be true? Is it really possible to get that level of service in American hospitals? Or is this joke some kind of propaganda of that Michael Moore guy?

A Redneck Murder in Kentucky

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder in Kentucky .
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

Now, I am not from Kentucky and I don't know any people which have a red neck, so this one really puzzles me. How can all citizens match DNA? How come no dental records, are there no dentists? Can someone else explain this one?

Sex and Sorrow

Stalin died and national sorrow was proclaimed in USSR for 20 days.
All sport and cultural happenings were forbidden. All public gatherings cancelled.
After a few days, in central Siberia, a request for clarification came to a local party committee: "Can we have sex during the sorrow period?"
Local committee was puzzled by the request so it forwarded it to the district committee.
Not even they didn't know what to answer so they consulted the central USSR committee.
Promptly came the answer:
"- Yes, but only with your spouse, in order to emphasize and deepen the extent of sorrow."

Nghe, nghe, this is a fantastic joke for those who get it. So, you see, the comrads at the top thought that having sex with your spouse is worse then counting someone others money, if you know what I mean...

In a Tunnel

Pessimist sees only the dark in a tunnel.
An optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees the lights of the train.
Engine man sees three idiots in a tunnel.

Nghe, he, you get it? They are so stupid, being actually in a tunnel. You couldn't tell that at the beggining of the joke, could you? That's why it's so funny... What a joke.

I'm Not Your Mommy

- Mommy, mommy, can I have an ice cream, pleeeaase?
- Ok, Johnny, but you don't have to call me "mommy" just because I sleep with your father...
- And how should I call you then?
- Well, call me simply by the name - Robert.

There you have it. You get it? The surprise is in the last word of the joke, as it should be in a good joke. Poor little Johnny will need some time to get it...