Different kinds of people...

When a woman tells a man that she is leaving him for another guy:

Atheist: I don't believe.
Buddhist: As long as you're happy...
Catholic: Must be my fault.
Jew: It's all your fault!
Orthodox: F*ck you bitch!
Agnostic: Why can't you have both of us?
Mormon: One more or less...
Melancholic: I am gooing to kill myself.
Choleric: I am going to kill you!
Apathyc: Well, OK.
Pessimist: I knew this was going to happen.
Optimist: Take the key, just in case...
Realist: That's my suitcase.
Naive: When will you be back?
Rationalist: You have no arguments!
Skeptic: Are you sure?
Romantic: I love you, never the less....
Philosopher: Why today?
Lawyer: This is gonna cost you.
Banker: How much is this going to cost me?
Yappy: How much is he making?
Liberal: Free at last!
Communist: I have an obligation to share you.
Green: Please go by bike.
Cleric: Have you sinned?
Social democrat: I respect your decision.
Southerner: I just hope he's not a damn Yankee.
Yankee: I hope he is not from South.
Skinnhead: Is he white?
Afroamerican: He is a brotha, right?
Redneck: At least the other sister will stay with me...

Ha, this is not a joke, but still funny. I feel that the list could be longer and needs additional lines. I'd like you people to contribute via comments.
I hope no one is offended, this is just fun.